Dear Man Do You Know Who She Is…?

Sibhekiwe Cele

It was not good for you to be alone so the Lord saw it fit for her to be your helper 

You were put into deep sleep while she was fearfully and wonderfully made from your rib bone

When you awoke as you gazed upon her your mouth poured out the flow of poetic utterances saying 

This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh as you described her in awe of her beauty 

Yet with the intense depth of this oneness you still threw her in the dark pit of abuse

Hostile ignorance has caused you not to be aware that in hurting her you are hurting your self.
Dear Man Do You Know Who She Is?
You have made this treasure of goodness into a live and breathing punching bag

Physically abusing her by misusing your physical strength on this weaker vessel

Your tongue has become a sharp sword piercing her with emotionally bruising words

You have forcefully imprisoned her mind, body and soul by imposing your self-exalting power and control over her.

You were called to serve just like the Son of God came not to be served but to serve

In what way have you served her by vandalising the walls of this temple of the Holy Spirit?

Dear Man Do You Know Who She Is?
She is your crown far more valuable than the worth of rubies

The apple of God’s eye with her name tattooed in His palms 

How can you possibly you harm such virtue immersed in the ocean of amazing grace

Her identity is complete in Christ alone and she belongs to Him

As a hungry wild animal thirsty for blood you see her as prey that satisfies your sexual cravings

Your lustful nature has viciously snatched away her purity from proud virgin to just another rape statistic
Dear Woman Do You Know Who You Are?
If you knew who you were you wouldn’t have sad yes to this wolf dressed in the clothing of sheep

If you knew who you were you wouldn’t settle for left over crumbs for you are a daughter of a King that prepares a table  before you to feast in the presence of your enemies

Woman if you knew who you were you wouldn’t be drowning in the pool of fear for your God says that perfect love casts out all fear

Dear woman yet in the midst of your storm that comes with hurt, pain and misery you are to bring out the colorful rainbow of forgiveness 

Just as God has forgiven you from all your sins with the shedding of His blood

Open the well of your heart and let the healing rain pour until you overflow with unconditional love that covers a multitude of sins
Dear Man Do You Know Who You Are?
A broken man breaks a woman

A hurt man hurts a woman

A man in pain tortures a woman

As a man thinks so is he and out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks

A man who is blind to who Jesus is will also be blind to who the daughter of the Everlasting Father is

Oh dear man plant Your roots deep into Christ and continiously water them with His Word

Growing into a man of honour that bears the fruit of the Spirit

Pray for the restoration of your Godly man-hood

The intended biblical purpose for the creation of you as the man

Let the pathway of restoration be the aisle that leads you to the covenant reunion to the woman that you named

Removing from her the veil of abuse and kissing her with the divine promise of loving her as Christ loves the church

In knowing God you will know who you are and who she is

Genesis 50:20

Genesis 50:20 – The devil meant it for evil but God meant it for good. 

This is true for you and I today. When you eventually become the “governor,” use wisdom to liberate others.


Domestic abuse


We all know someone who has been through the hardships of domestic violence. In fact, you reading this article could be a victim of this painful act.

Here in South Africa, it just saddens me that the efforts that our government has put in to alleviating this problem are so substandard, it’s even embarrassing to label it a worthwhile project. What generally happens is that, in December, our government has dedicated 16 days of activism. Apparently this awareness initiative is supposed to help stop domestic abuse. Endless seminars, pointless talks from government officials, redundant speeches about how we all need to work together to stop abuse in the family. After the 16 days, everything goes back to normal. What’s more, I wouldn’t be surprised if the incidences of domestic abuse escalated during those 16 days because the abusers (predominantly men) felt challenged. Such issues are often exacerbated when done in a careless manner. What happens to these victims of abuse throughout the year?

We Christians have a bigger issue on our hands. Since the bible condemns divorce, what does a Christian woman do when she is being abused daily both physically and emotionally? This is a very serious issue that is happening every single day.

I don’t think it is a good idea to have speechy campaign after speechy campaign aimed at changing men, or empowering women. I do not want to disregard the effect that these campaigns have in alleviating abuse, it just seems like a very passive means of action. Rather have open honest discussions, mainly with the men. Get at the heart of things. Make abusers to feel welcome to seek help and stop lashing at them all the time. Abuse is very wrong don’t misinterpret me. However, would a wife rather lose her husband or have him say my beautiful wife, I am sorry for what I have done, I am currently seeking help so that I can restore our married so it may fully capture the glory of Jesus and his bride. Help me change!

Back to the campaigns – I’m not certain of the exact efficacy of these state campaigns because you can never get accurate statistical reports of domestic violence. The challenge is that, having fewer reported cases does not necessarily indicate that these campaigns are having any effect because a decrease in reported cases could also be a result of women suddenly growing fearful of their partners and being reluctant to report these cases.

I would like to be part or a generation that strives for a more pragmatic approach to solving the issue, namely, child or youth development. We should re-direct our efforts towards instilling appropriate values and standards in our children.

Children who are taught to appreciate the roles of a men and women will grow up with a mature and refined code of conduct. They will grow up to respect each other and strengthen each other’s shortcomings.

An individual who repetitively causes harm to their partner, and moreover indulges in it, has issues that a superficial campaign will not remedy. Let us teach our children the law of God. Let us do our best to bring up our children into an environment that will cultivate a longing to grown in love. We all have that responsibility, a communal responsibility to teach all the young. It is my hope that in doing this, futures will be shaped.

Let us invest our time and resources wisely. 


Salvation tool

Born a sinner

When we are born, our nature is already hostile to God. We dont want to be controlled by anyone, because we feel as though we should live our own lives the way we want to. Indeed we are born as people who love and prefer sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, socery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, lovers of self, lovers of money, pride, arrogance, abuse, disobedience towards our parents, ungratefulness, heartlessness, unappeasable, slanderous, lack of self-control, brutality, hate, treacherousness, recklessness, conceit, to be lovers of pleasure rather than lover of God, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, being thieves, being greedy, being drunkards, being revilers, being swindlers.

We are all born broken sinners.

The tough pill to swallow

1. Good works

We do not go to heaven because we did a lot of things. We cannot work for righteousness because no amount of work can pay the debt of sin we owe. Jesus did all the work, the only thing that we have to do is have faith in the grace that God is extending towards us. Good works do not save anyone!

People go to hell for nothing but not believing in God through Jesus Christ and that He can forgive our sins and our lives be changed. This is sin by itself. All other things such as drinking, killing, fornicating, stealing etc., are the result of not believing in God (John 3:18).
Ephesians 2:8-9For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 

2. Religion

Going to church also does not make us righteous. If my father is a pastor, that does not automatically mean I am going to heaven. Performing religous rituals will never grant us a seat in the many mansions that God has. There is only one way to God. And it is not religion, because it was for religious reasons Jesus was killed. Religion does not save anyone! But Jesus is the only way to God. He is our mediator with God. It is through him that the relationship between men and God is established

John 14:6Jesus said to him, I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

What if I do not care about following Jesus?

Well, the Bible is very clear about this. In Luke 13:3, Jesus says that if we do not repent, we will perish. Hell is a reality; it exists. It is not some imaginary place used to scare people into doing good. If we choose any other life except the true and fullfilling life of following Jesus, we will reap what we are sowing. He is coming, and he will judge the world.

Revelations 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for the murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with the fire and sulfur, which is the second death

Following Jesus

God loves us very much that He gave us His only Son Jesus who was killed on a cross. After that, he was buried. On the third day he rose from the grave like the King that he is! Jesus carried our sin on the cross, buried it and rose to show that it has been defeated. God says if we believe this, we will be saved.

Romans 10:9That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus Christ and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

John 3:16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Now that I believe that Jesus is my King, what happens now ?

You are now a tree. Not just any tree, but a tree that has roots going deep into Jesus. What you are supposed to do now is bear fruit. Live your life in a way that shows that your source of life is God almighty.

Secondly, find a place to fellowship. This is a place where believers gather together to teach, worship God, read the word, exort one another, pray and serve each other in love.


We have undermined the glory of God. Since God cannot sweep this fact under the carpert, He sent His perfect Son to come and atone for our sins. Jesus was the only one qualified to die for our sins. When we believe this truth, we are then sealed with the Holy Spirit and marked as sons of God.

Life does not suddenly become easy after following Jesus. You do not all of a sudden pass every test, or get rich and live comfortably. Instead, life is then a continual journey to see more of Jesus because the devil will always try to temp our flesh to behave in its old ways.

2 Corinthians 5:17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Education Have I Made The Mistake of Making You A God?

Education Have I Made The Mistake of Making You A God?

As I ponder on how obliviously enslaved I have become by you

You have constructively managed to make me treat you like a master, yes I have diligently become your servant

See it was drilled into me that you are the key to success, so with you in my possession I hold the power to unlock and open the doors that lead me to this success

You dominantly consume me and affect my state of mind in how you make it your dwelling place

Then! After laboring hard for you I am shocked to discover that the effort I put in does not correlate with my results

I start to question my level of intelligence because it is with this self-proclaimed intelligence that tunes me into thinking that I can excel in all that you require from me


You have captured the very essence of me and you have the ability to hypnotically control my emotions from the extremes of ecstatic elation to suicidal stress

Are you not aware of how much I give my all in aggressively fighting for you, so that I keep you and not lose you

I spend sleepless nights serving you, I drink energizers to try and curb the fatigue so that when I attend to your call of duty I won’t fail you. I cancel all my obligations and prioritize you over them

The escalating fees that stand in my way of receiving you must fall and bow down to you

I even get to the point of destroying and burning buildings that house the process of me feeding from you, just so that you can be freely given to me


I ask myself….

What exactly is the driving force behind me being this overly obsessed with pleasing you

Is it the fear of failure? Is it the fear of poverty? Is it the fear of being a disappointment? Or is it just the fear of being a nobody?

So should I conclude from this that I am fully dependent on you to prosper my future and unleash greatness out me?

What is the purpose of all of that?!…self-significance? Self-sufficiency? self-establishment?

If all this this fear of inferiority is being channeled towards you

But! the Word of God says that the fear of the Lord is the BEGINNING of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding

Which means that after all this sweating in labouring for you, true knowledge gaining has not even BEGUN neither understanding?! if your foundation is not His Word

Have I been labouring for you in vain? So basically you are worthless unless you are built upon the knowledge of the Lord God Almighty Himself

Education have I made the mistake of making you a god?

I cannot separate you from your source which is the Lord God lest I fall in the trap of misinterpreting you and creating an idol out of you that I worship

You and God are not in separate compartments in my life but He in truth is the ruler and definer of you

You become my idol once you make me divert from living for my Creator and the purpose that He wants to accomplish through you in my life

I idolize you when I have self-glorifying expectations of you to give me a life that is of prestigious identity where I am highly respected and my reputation is what I cherish

All you will end up doing is adding to the bondage of my busy life that is filled with meaningless activity but no kingdom productivity

You yield to the devil’s persistent efforts to keep my mind wandering away from King Jesus Christ

Which is how you ultimately capture the very essence of me

Education have I made the mistake of making you a god?

My tireless determination to obtain you is futile if you are not submitted to the divine will of God

Because all that you would be is food that seeks to satisfy the cravings of my selfish-ambitions

Thus blinding me from using you to also look to the interests of the people of God and failing to have the humility that counts others more significant than me

Creating in me a narcissistic academic with egocentric intellectual pride

I am not disputing your importance but what does convict me is how I have allowed myself to believe that without you, my life is a hopeless walking grave

What you are to me is a precious gift from God, it’s not about what you can do for me, what I can get out of you or where you can take me

But what you bring to my life must be Christ-exalting and embracing the supremacy of Father God in whatever discipline that I have been mandated to serve in

So dear self I kindly ask that you would please do me a favour and DIE for Christ to live in me so that I will be able to use this education by His grace to fulfill the purposes of  the Most High and advance the kingdom of the Son of God for His glory!

Education have I made the mistake of making you a god?

By: Sibhekiwe Cele